Act
Nanashi mode:
Here I am once more, putting up my false act in front of others. Seriously, I do no know how come I can continue with this, for one, the effort alone is already wearing out, with Shinigami avoiding others so deliberately nowadays. What wrong with her, I do not know as well. Whatever that is biting her is seriously ruffling her up more than any incidents added up altogether.
I need to get out. Fast.
Ironic, really, as to how I was able to live so normally and face everyone with the same bright cheery face each day back in the past, yet, I can only hide in a shell of supeficialness.
I'm so useless... Don't you think so?
Looking back into the past, I cannot help but ask myself time and time again: Why am I looking back? There is no way for the past to repeat itself again. Not now, not forever. Can't I see the point in it at all?
Yet, as I truly remember all the past, I feel the bitterness of it all once more.
The bitterness of unfairness.
Recently, I have met a few of my old schoolmates, all on the way home. Unlike others, who can continue on a conversation for a long long time, I can only merely smile, looking for no conversation to begin.
Did you see that in me when I boarded the bus and you alighted? Or did you think you saw the old me? Can you see that my heart is drowning in despair, wanting to reach out to you who is so far away? Everytime when others speak of liking someone, loving them so deeply and such, I can merely sit and smile, pretending to be absorbing what they are saying with interest.
How long have we last talked, face to face, truly with no boundaries? Four years, that's how long it has been, haven't you notice? Though you exist in my memories, exist in my life now, there is nothing I can do but to block out that memory. You and I both know that weare simply too busy with our own lives to do anything about it.
But do others know about this or even care about this? No... Why should they and how should they? They are merely living in their own world, aren't they? So much so that no one really cares about what I feel at all when I am merely around them all this while.
To this certain person: I hope you get your dreams.
To a certain person who truly allow me to hug: There is so much on my mind that no one understands. Can you see the pain that I am feeling?
To the certain person who creates: Why did you do it?
To those people around me: Do you even think I can call you friends with what you have done?
Here I am once more, putting up my false act in front of others. Seriously, I do no know how come I can continue with this, for one, the effort alone is already wearing out, with Shinigami avoiding others so deliberately nowadays. What wrong with her, I do not know as well. Whatever that is biting her is seriously ruffling her up more than any incidents added up altogether.
I need to get out. Fast.
Ironic, really, as to how I was able to live so normally and face everyone with the same bright cheery face each day back in the past, yet, I can only hide in a shell of supeficialness.
I'm so useless... Don't you think so?
Looking back into the past, I cannot help but ask myself time and time again: Why am I looking back? There is no way for the past to repeat itself again. Not now, not forever. Can't I see the point in it at all?
Yet, as I truly remember all the past, I feel the bitterness of it all once more.
The bitterness of unfairness.
Recently, I have met a few of my old schoolmates, all on the way home. Unlike others, who can continue on a conversation for a long long time, I can only merely smile, looking for no conversation to begin.
Did you see that in me when I boarded the bus and you alighted? Or did you think you saw the old me? Can you see that my heart is drowning in despair, wanting to reach out to you who is so far away? Everytime when others speak of liking someone, loving them so deeply and such, I can merely sit and smile, pretending to be absorbing what they are saying with interest.
How long have we last talked, face to face, truly with no boundaries? Four years, that's how long it has been, haven't you notice? Though you exist in my memories, exist in my life now, there is nothing I can do but to block out that memory. You and I both know that weare simply too busy with our own lives to do anything about it.
But do others know about this or even care about this? No... Why should they and how should they? They are merely living in their own world, aren't they? So much so that no one really cares about what I feel at all when I am merely around them all this while.
To this certain person: I hope you get your dreams.
To a certain person who truly allow me to hug: There is so much on my mind that no one understands. Can you see the pain that I am feeling?
To the certain person who creates: Why did you do it?
To those people around me: Do you even think I can call you friends with what you have done?
posted by Aphelia Yuu at 6:30 PM
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